Do you know how many situations could be settled with a good old fashioned fist fight? One or two good hits to the jaw can wake anyone out of a stupor or make someone feel better about a wrong done to them. For 2011, I say we put events behind us and some particular trends that I find nauseating.

1. Knee/Thigh high socks. Do you think by putting knee socks on you will attract all the boys to your yard? Do your really wants boys who are attracted to woman who pretend to be innocent and schoolgirl-esque? Isn’t this a minor sign of pedophilia? Doesn’t this make your legs look shorter than they really are? I am tired of seeing little trolls run around Los Angeles, while their thigh fat hangs over the elastic bands of their knee/thigh high socks. Please cease and desist all use of knee/thigh high socks unless they are hiding underneath your relatively loose pants.

2. Pet clothes. No your dog doesn’t look cute in its stupid sweater. It hates you and is plotting your death as you parade around town with it in your purse.

3. Ripped Jeans and Sweat Pants. I remember the days when my daily outfit consisted of Juicy sweat pants, hoodies and Tims. Yes, I went to Buffalo and I thought I was ghetto/Long Island. But the important part of rehab, is admitting your mistakes. College is over, it is time to look presentable or at least try.

4. Uggs. I can’t believe I still have to write the word: Uggs. I can’t believe people our age and older are still placing their feet in the monstrosity of ugliness that is Ugg.  

5. Ed Hardy. I will always hate you. I will always automatically judge the people who adorn your repulsive garb. Douche bags with no style-sense except the adoption of a over-sequined, studded, graphic designed  t-shirts with equally grotesque jeans.