About two years ago I went to a psychic for fun. I had to fill her in on a lot and in return she informed me that my boyfriend would cheat, that I had a dark cloud that followed me, a horrible temper, a high level of impulsive behavior and that I needed copious amounts of work which she could help me with more money. So, I paid her more money, I yelled at my boyfriend for cheating on me in the future, I went to the doctors to see if the dark clouds meant cancer and I never returned to her again. I still get angry and I still actively dabble in impulsive behavior but nothing about my purchase yesterday was impulsive.

Jimmy Choo Motorcycle Boots not to be confused with the newest version with distressed metallic leather with a fur lining.


I am wearing them as I type and they are heaven. A little heavy for a day at the office but its Friday and I have been known to push the Casual Fridays as far as I can. While I was picking up these new boots, I spotted these:


I am trying to bulk up on my basics and I have about twenty black heels but these are beautiful...

See, I am not that impulsive. I stopped with one pair a visit. For now.

I read a review somewhere for Classy: Exceptional Advice for the Extremely Modern Lady by Derek Blasberg. It looked interesting so I picked it up.


Etiquette was something I learned from a young age. Manners were not only necessary but if we lacked them, they were punished by death, spankings or time-outs. Now while I may not be the most elegant lady in the world - I swear too much, I can be mean and rude if I don’t care for you, and I used to punch tramps; I know how to be a lady when called upon.

The book was cute, an easy read but there wasn’t much you shouldn’t already know about. Blasberg fills you in on some high-profile secrets and some low-profile: what to wear to what, what fork to use, how to plan a party, among much more. The one theme I did enjoy was that Blasberg effortlessly encourages young woman to be less like Paris Hilton. He also encourages you to read and educate yourself on classics and current events since a designer outfit can’t take you that far.

I found it enjoyable and I am sure like so many people who actually found The Secret enlightening, they would find this equally enlightening as long as they have a vagina. Available at Borders, Barnes&Nobles and Amazon.

I’ve started on How Pleasure Works: The New Science of Why We Like What We Like by Paul Bloom. I hope it gives me some insight on my love for shopping. 

Controversy time. Forever 21 has added a maternity line. Now while I fully support affordable clothes for new mothers I do not agree with the promotion and sales at a pre-teen to young adult retail store. The company's executive vice president, Larry Meyer, said in a statement, obtained by CNN, that the maternity line is not marketed specifically to pregnant teenagers.

"Forever 21 did not create, design or distribute Love 21 Maternity to target, or appeal specifically to pregnant teens. Any relationship between teen pregnancy rates and the locations of our stores is unintentional.”

I saw another piece where Meyer said their target demographics are in their late twenties to thirties. I object. When is the last time you saw a late twenty-something or early thirty-something in Forever 21. While I'm sure many women our age do shop at Forever 21, we are not the majority. The teenie-boppers and young adults shop there to peruse brightly colored blouses and mini-skirts and the occasional t-shirt with a trivial saying... they don’t have to see the same types of clothing on a woman who is nine months pregnant. Yes, I understand making a profit, but why flood our already fucked youth with more signs that young pregnancies are okay. What's next? A playland for your babies while you shop?

Decades Two is doing it again.. Saturday July 24th, 9-6 shoe sale! $150 and under.


I may pass this one because I do not like to stand in line. Although I am guessing they have a VIP shoe sale the day before but that will still include standing in line.

A couple of months ago, I was on the search for a Chanel jacket so I went to Decades and Decades Two. I mistakenly went upstairs where they have their couture collections - vintage Chanel designed by Coco not Karl. You can imagine the price range can equal a month’s salary. Still, the gentlemen took me to the Chanel rack and gently explained I’d enjoy downstairs collections as well. Slightly embarrassed, I apologized and thanked him while he still remained sweet and helpful.

This experience made me vow that when I have the ability to buy a vintage, vintage piece, I will go back to Decades. I appreciate a tactful salesman and I appreciate the absence of airs that some salesclerks display for all to see. For every wonderful sales associate there are ten asshole sales associates. Maybe it is because I am younger-looking or maybe their boyfriend just broke up them via text or maybe they just can’t accept that they should depart from the customer service industry but frankly I don’t give a shit. I am sad to say that there is a woman or something disguised as a woman who is often working at one of my favorite stores. Usually dressed in the same outfit which the store probably gave her for free, her stares and rolling of eyes my way never fails to anger. Is she mad at me because I am buying? Get over it. I am sure 99% of the people that come in there spend more than me so why do I get the dirty looks?  Note: I'd like to add this has happened to other friends with the same salesclerk and... it has happened several times with me - this is not bad day type of thing more like a bad year.

Back to Decades Two, downstairs I found a black Chanel Jacket circa 2007 and was also helped by very kind and helpful associates. It is always refreshing to walk into a place of retail and be treated with respect and warmness. Yay for Decades: http://www.decadesinc.com/main.shtml and Decades Two: http://decadestwo.com/main.shtml

My SO threw an after-party two weekends ago, in which I did not participate as I needed to work Monday. Monday evening as I returned from an exhausting day of work and classes, I was welcomed home by my beautiful dog and a somewhat semi-cleaned, in the terms of male cleanliness, house.

Our upstairs bathroom and bedroom are attached and during parties, this bathroom is usually trashed. This time I thought I tricked the party-goers by locking the bathroom door from inside but an exceptional smart (insert sarcasm) was able to enter our unlocked bedroom and get to the bathroom. Sure, bathrooms are used for various events in a woman’s and man’s life. Sure, you’ve been partying for a long time now and your eye makeup probably doesn’t look as fresh as it did twenty hours ago. We’ve all been there. Sure, go ahead - use my eye makeup remover and leave the used cotton balls on the sink and the cotton ball container on the toilet. Oh hey, why don’t you also rummage through my makeup and see if you like anything? Smelling bad? Use some of my perfume and as a parting gift: Take my Tweezers. I don’t need them, shit, I am not even there!

Maybe I sound a little bitter but I am now going on the second week without tweezers. My overgrown eyebrows are flowing down over my almond shaped eyes and I am finding it hard to see. I could go on to tell you what I’d like to do with the person who misplaced my tweezers but when a girl is found with tweezers sticking out of her eyeball I don’t want the evidence to come back to me.
                
I guess I have to justify the above rant with some substance. Personally, I tweeze touch-up my eyebrows a couple times a week. Otherwise, I get waxed at my nail salon: Moon Nails. (See old post) Although once in a while I will get threaded!

Threading is an ancient method of hair removal practiced in many Asian countries. Practitioners use a pure, thin, twisted cotton thread which is rolled over untidy hairlines, mustaches and so on, plucking the hair at the follicle level. Unlike tweezing where a single hair is pulled out each time, threading can remove an entire row of hair, resulting in a straighter line.


Vinita’s Threading Studio has several locations in the Los Angeles area. I have only been to the Westwood location but was always happy. I just tend to gravitate towards getting multiple things done at one place which is why I mostly wax my eyebrows now. http://www.threadingstudio.com/  If you have never been threaded, give it a try and if you have my tweezers or know where they are please contact me.

New toys!

I like wedges but I am not a huge fan of khaki colored wedges. They get dirty, they are hard to clean and they don’t match my all back theme. I went to Barney’s for a birthday present in early June, I came out with a gift card and two pairs of shoes. One pair were these Christian Louboutin Praia - Black Flannel platform peep-toe espadrille Maryjanes. It was one of those chorus in the background, white light shining experiences as soon as my eyes fell on them. I had always asked myself, why don’t they make black espadrilles and then Louboutin delivers.     


I struggle with sunglasses. My tiny nose doesn’t help support the sunglasses from hitting my cheeks and my oval face doesn’t allow the styles I prefer. Through the years, I have always settled on some but have never really fallen in love. I am still searching for the perfect pair. But for now I have purchased Chanel 70s-inspired sunglasses in black and tweed.


Beatles-esque I find them a bit goofy but I love them the same. I feel more like a love child from the 70s then a cold-hearted bitch of the 00's, which may make the people around me a bit happier.

I think I am getting old. First, I have a hangover from two glasses of wine. Second, and even more intimidating than the former, I observe an underlying sense of modesty rising from the depths of my womb. While I still appreciate slivers of skin, backless dresses and exposed breast plates for night time activities, I find myself not as interested in them as I used to be.

Nipples were never an accessory to me. I am not partial to bras because they are uncomfortable, they never fit right, and I hate padding. I wont walk around with a fake handbag so I am not going to walk around with a fake c cup unless it is the silicone variety. In my line of profession, nipples of any kind are not acceptable - so the one bra I owned was used Monday to Friday, nine to five. Now, even when I am going to the grocery store or dinner with girlfriends - I find myself reaching for one of six bras. I am such an adult!

I have found a couple whose uncomfortable level I can deal with but we all know bras do not work all the time. Especially for girls who still want to show some skin and not a bra strap. Last Halloween I was on the search for some accessories to my costume: Charlotte Rampling from the Night Porter. (Halloween will always allow the bearing of skin)


Gloves - check. Nazi Hat - check. Jodhpurs - check. Suspenders - check. Exposed Breasts - uncheck.

I came across a bunch of nipple covers - the usual petals which I find impossible, glued on tassels, X’s and hearts among other various shapes but I fell in love with DIMRS. Not too fond of the name, it is pronounced “Dimmers” but it gets the job done. Made with 100% medical grade silicone, you moisten the covers and they adhere to your skin. There is no line, unlike the petals. Small and discreet - they dim your “headlights”. Only catch is you must wear them with tight fitting clothes or they might fall. If you prefer covers with adhesive, DIMRS makes Nipstiks. (Who the hell is the creative force behind these names?) The adhesive force allows you to wear them with looser fitting clothing. You can buy both here.  I found mine in one of the many stores on Hollywood Boulevard.


I wonder what the next adult move will be for me?

Part of me wants to hate it just for the mere fact that it isn’t his designs. I still want to scream, shout and pound my fists until he has risen from the dead and designs us a line.

Sarah Burton was announced the new creative director of Alexander McQueen in May. About two weeks ago, previews of Pre-Spring/Cruise 2011 went viral.

Maybe I am being a bit negative, (that’s never happened before) but these designs aren’t what I would call amazing. Expected, yes. Japanese, kimono-styled, with a hint of samurai - didn’t he do this before? I would like to see the whole line and then an actual complete Spring/Summer line before I jump to more definitive and menacing adjectives. But I will predict this, the true lovers of McQueen will never embrace Sarah Burton even if she was his right hand woman. The true lovers will never embrace the Gucci corporation or their push to make him more of a household name from his death, aka a shit load of more money. As I have said before and I will say it again, he was a genius.


But as a woman who loves clothes, I do like the red gown.    

The newest trend for eyeballs is Circle Contacts. Circle contact lens are lens that make the eye’s iris appear larger. They invoke an obvious “deer in the headlights” look.        


Recently in the news as unsafe - they are not FDA approved and the professionals say that there can be side effects with Circle Contacts that could cause blindness. I doubt this as our nation loves to scare but I am also not jumping at the chance to wear these. Probably mostly because I am already blind in each eye and wear contacts to see. Secondly, because I do not want to look like an Anime character for all those males already diagnosed with yellow fever. And third, what is the point?


Would you dodge blindness to look innocent and doe eyed?

I saw the China Doll handbag in a Spanish magazine on an airplane. I cooed and oohed over the idea while my S.O. shook his head.

Celebrating the Universal Exhibition in Shanghai, Chanel launched the Chanel Shanghai accessories collection inspired by the delights of China. With matching necklaces and earrings, the china doll is a conversation starter. The rest of the collection is communistic red and green with a take out box thrown in the mix and even a conical hat. Already in stores, I want the China Doll necklace which I saw in Paris for about $500 euros and the sequined cotton Chinese hat which I saw in Beverly Hills for $3,000usd. But with that price tag I could get another handbag... so you guessed right that my want will not become a have.